By Dr. Sophia Murphy, DBH, SXI

As a sex coach, one of the most common questions curious people ask is, “what is sex coaching?” and after that question, people often wonder if it’s the same as therapy? These are great questions so that people can understand what coaching entails and how it can be beneficial to anyone!

Sex coaching is a confidential process wherein a client works with a certified sex coach involved in addressing sexual concerns, sexual wellness, and sexual healing. The coach works to motivate clients by setting goals and providing feedback and accountability to clients. When you think of a coach in other settings, like sports, the coach helps to create a relationship where someone can meet their athletic potential and overcome barriers to performance. A sex coach does the same thing, just focused on sexual health, wellness, and pleasure. Sex coaching is a great way to support someone in better figuring out their own sexual interests and desires. A sex coach supports clients in identifying an area of concern (or even just a gap in knowledge) and supports that client to reach their sexual goals. Anyone interested in improving their sexual relationship with themselves and/or others can benefit! Who doesn’t want to have the best sex they can?

Learn More: Meet Dr. Sophia Murray, TBD Director of Wellness

While both coaching and therapy can help people reach their goals, each is distinctly different. A therapist assesses, diagnoses, and treats mental health disorders and mental illness. In the case of sex therapy, the primary focus is symptom reduction and long-term resolution of unsustainable (sometimes harmful) coping patterns. Therapy often focuses on the past to change the future and treatment can last for years. Sex coaching is brief, short-term, and aimed at changing specific behaviors. A coach focuses less on symptoms and more on measurable outcomes and will provide accountability along the way. This makes it even more accessible and beneficial for clients. It can even be a great addition to someone already in therapy. Sex coaching aims to create lasting change and support long-term enjoyment and pleasure with sex.

What are Some Reasons People Go to Sex Coaching?

Sex coaching is a great option for many concerns that people may experience regarding sex. Common reasons include:

• Mismatched desire (partnered sex)
• Unrealistic expectations
• Basic sex education
• Difficulty reaching orgasm (solo or partnered)
• Lack of pleasure or enjoyment in sex (solo or partnered)
• Fantasy exploration
• Concerns with achieving or maintaining an erection
• Pain during sexual activity
• BDSM or kink interests
• Overall sexual wellness (body image, sexual health)

Sex coaching creates a safe and non-judgmental space where a client (or clients) can broach issues and strategically create change. Sometimes partners have varying expectations that have never been addressed and simply need tools to identify common interests, boundaries, and learn new information to try new things. Some people have struggled to enjoy sex and are ready to better understand their bodies and what works for them sexually. Not all coaching is aimed at addressing something that isn’t working! Some clients seek coaching when they already love sex and are ready to expand their horizons. Coaching is a great place to explore desire and identify tangible practices to incorporate new aspects of sexuality in your one’s life.

How Long Does Sex Coaching Last?

Sex coaching is brief which makes it a great tool/resource. Since coaching is aimed at creating change to achieve measurable and specific goals, it’s easily accessible and designed to be integrated into your life. Most clients only attend 5-10 appointments and get to work immediately. Sex coaching targets specific concerns and utilizes psychoeducation, homework, and practice to support clients in reaching goals. Sometimes sex coaching is a great pathway to therapy because someone might learn that they actually want to explore deeper themes and move on to therapy. Sex coaching can create a supportive foundation for future work and can also work collaboratively with any previous or current therapy a client may receive. True whole-health looks at a person from all dimensions, which is why sex coaching can be a useful tool and valuable resource for everyone.

I Think I’m Ready- What Can I Expect Once I Start?

So you’re ready to get into sex coaching- woohoo for taking the first step! Once you find a coach, you’ll likely complete an initial assessment (either on paper or in person, or both) to gather a history of your sexual experiences. When you meet your coach, you’ll create a targeted and measurable goal for what change you want to achieve in your sexual wellness journey. Once your goal(s) are set, get ready to work. Sex coaching includes vulnerability and the need for conversations that may feel awkward at first and hopefully support a lot of insight in your sexual health. You’ll learn more about yourself, your body, and probably have a good amount of homework between sessions. You’ll track your progress and wrap-up when you’ve reached your goal. Some clients create new goals and continue with sex coaching, some pivot and move on to sex therapy instead, and some finish up and start integrating their new knowledge into their sexual lives.

This article provides information about sexual health, healthcare and/or related subjects. The blog content and any linked materials herein are not intended to be, and should not be construed as a substitute for, medical or healthcare advice, diagnosis or treatment. Any reader or person with a medical concern should consult with an appropriately-licensed physician or other healthcare provider. This blog is provided purely for informational purposes. The views expressed herein are not sponsored by and do not represent the opinions of TBD Health Inc.